aware

i read a book tonight about growing up in prague during the cold war. the kid drew a lot. and liked the beatles. finally made it to america. his children asked him why he came, and if he was an "early settler." he said he came for drawing. he took his family back to prague, and they couldn't understand what was so horrible about it. things change. freedom is an amazing thing.
speaking of changing, i like to drink water while i'm peeing sometimes to give me perspective on the cyclic nature of the world around me. everything changes. becomes something else. then back to what it started as. and back again. there. and back again. just incredible. this world. lets keep it.
been listening to a lot of npr lately while sitting in my club chair, wearing a cardigan and house shoes and pretending to smoke a pipe. feeling better informed, and like i can carry on an interesting and intelligent conversation. that feels good.
i need art films, literature and music right now. two weeks off. beautiful wife. oregon. sister. brother. fajah. majah. excellent.
then the cycle will bring me home. awareness is half the battle. in bed.

what sort of idiot wakes up at 4am to watch a soccer game going on in China?

me

on a blogger scale of 1 to shitty, i am an 11.

love is just a kiss away

i've got all the shelter i need.

early in the morning

i ain't got nothing but the blues.

but the sun always seems to come up and then my blues seems downright absurd.

i am glad that happiness is so much more overwhelming than sadness.

i've got a peace that passes all understanding.

hooray.

the f word

we've got nothing but options.
the future is so bright, i've gotta wear shades.

new mantra:
there's gold in them hills.

just have to find which hills we're talking about. and then find the gold. and then learn how to mine. and then try to turn the gold into spendable cash. and make myself believe it all.

oh my darling.

draft

blogging is not hard.
remembering is.
i've been planning on blogging tomorrow for the last two weeks.
maybe i'm not cut out for this.

tonight? maybe.

you are the love of my life

yeah you know you are.

i am the luckiest.

miking

i walked down the street in the first mountaintop city and the marble capital of georgia and breathed deep. the mountain air is cleaner and the views were exactly what the doctor ordered.
i need to go miking.christmas can't come soon enough, boss.

lyger

does she understand me? sometimes when she looks at me, smiles, and blinks, it feels like she must know me? but her language is foreign and her actions alien. is she an animal, or is she human? and if she is human, is it because of my treatment of her, or is my treatment a result of her humanity?

ender will save us all

greatness and brilliance are both lonely.
the most powerful desire is the will to survive.
miscommunication is the root of the worst actions.
no decision is simple or easy.
everyone needs someone to speak for them.

pro

one time, there was a girl. against all logic, she fell for me. both of us pretended we were not interested in dating, per se. so we called the beginnings of our relationship a "trial run." just to see if we liked it. if it would work.
we got married. been that way for over a year. it worked.

i'm glad we didn't just jump in with both feet.